This is a listing, by title, of articles that have appeared on the SAK Online Front Page.
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LADY THORN'S SM COMMUNITY EXCHANGE
Its time again for Lady Thorns SM Community Exchange, AKA The Bizarre Flea, A leather swap meet The date and the location are NEW this year. Only the TIME remains the same to protect the INNOCENT!!!.
Lady Thorns Bizarre Flea" will be held Sunday, April 26. The doors will open at 2:00PM. It will be held at #50 Oak Street, near Market. There should be plenty of street parking. The location was changed because the Womans Building is not available due to remodeling.
Vendor Info: contact Lady Thorn @ 415/753-0703
The Fandango will be held at the same location as the December, 1997 party. Tickets will again be available at the Fandango Table inside the Bizarre Flea. Fandango will start at 6:30 and run until Midnight. This is a great time to try out your newly purchased toys. You know, the ones you bought at the Bizarre Flea. We will provide light munches, sodas, water, tea, coffee and safer sex supplies. Bring your toys, your selves and your hot energy.
LEATHERFEST X - SAN DIEGO - April 3, 4 & 5 1998 - For more information try our WebSite at: http://www.leatherfest.com. OR if you do not have access to the World Wide Web, send your mailing address to: . OR Mail a request for infomation (please state that you are over 21 & sign your request) to:
LeatherFest X
PO Box 3092
San Diego, CA 92163
Volunteering for LeatherFest X. Although all the details are not yet available, the general idea is this:
For "X" number of hours volunteered, you will receive credit against admission to LeatherFest X. You will be asked to register as a paid participant (you can register now for a day pass for $25, for example & "work" your way up to a more complete registration). We need volunteers in all areas: Registration, Security, Set-up/Tear-down crew, Vendors assistants, DM's (by referral only - you MUST be qualified to DM), Volunteer coordination and a host of other areas.
To be notified of our Volunteer Orientation Sessions, please send in your registration form (with appropriate payment) or write for further details to:
SAFETY FIRST The relationship between a dominant and a submissive is both complex and rewarding for both partners. To be successful, a D&S relationship must be based on mutual trust and respect. The dominant must be completely trustworthy and respect the needs and desires of their submissives.
The submissive partner must respect and trust the dominant to accept without reservation the training, guidance, encouragement,and appropriate correction of undesirable behavior. The title "Master" must be earned and the title "slave" be respected.
Never forget........ As part of the D/s relationship, the submissive submits to the direction of the "Master" and in doing so, creates a potential for abuse and unsafe behavior on the part of the Dominant partner. Unfortunately, there are among us people, those who claim to be experienced dominants who are in reality sadistic abusers who betray the trust and inflict pain and punishment far beyond the limits of the submissive.
That is why the initial meetings between Dominants and submissives must have stringently enforced safety rules. Listed below are the initial safety rules for new submissives. Please feel free to pass this document on to anyone who is planning to experience a real time relationship for the first time.
Rule Number One:
Meet your potential dominant partner in a public place . The first meeting is strictly social and a getting acquainted opportunity. This should be made very clear at the outset, and any effort by the dominant partner to "seduce" the submissive should be seen as an act of bad faith and indication of a lack of trust worthiness.
Rule Number Two:
A trusted person should know about the schedule of the meeting and should be called at an appointed time at the end of the meeting to confirm that all has gone well.
Rule Number Three:
If the dominant partner passes the initial screening, a second meeting can be arranged. This meeting is designed to initially establish a sensual relationship. But the limits imposed on this meeting are absolute. The limits are as follows:
1. The submissive will in no way be physically immobilized, Real bondage of any kind will not be allowed during the first meeting.
2. Gags or any devices which prevent the submissive from calling for help are also not allowed during this meeting.
3. Safe words will be strictly enforced.
4. Nothing more dangerous that a hand, flat paddle or crop will be used for disciplinary purposes.
5. Slapping, striking or hitting of any kind above the shoulders is strictly forbidden.
6. The submissive partner has the right to stop the encounter at any time and leave immediately.
Rule Number Four:
A safety system will be established. It requiring a periodic phone call (usually once every hour on the hour) to a safety monitor (friend) who knows the location of the meeting and is prepared to notify the police and the hotel should the call be more than 10 minutes overdue.
Rule Number Five:
There will be established series of code words that are embedded in the safety calls that verifies to the friend that all is well or warns of trouble.
Rule Number Six:
The submissive must call the Safety monitor when she or he has left the presence of the dominant and is well away from the meeting place. A code word will also be used to confirm that all is well.
In any D/s relationship, the dominant partner must assume the responsibility for the safety of the submissive partner. If the dominant partner is not willing to accept the rules as stated above, thenit is clear that the dominant partner is not willing to accept that responsibility, and protect the well being of the submissive. Never forget, submission to a partner is the greatest gift one person can give to another. But that gift must be earned and it can only be given in an environment of trust, respect and caring. Without that environment, the gift will not be valued and a very dangerous situation is created.
D/s is a wonderful and exciting life style, and with a little care and planning it can be safe as well. These are SUGGESTIONS for first meeting behaviors. Modify them as you see fit but DO TAKE them to heart. The skin you save may be your own!
14TH ANNUAL FOLSOM STREET FAIR - The 14th annual Folsom Street Fair will be Sun., Sept. 28 on Folsom Street between 7th and 12th Streets in San Francisco. Organizers expect 300,000 visitors from around the world. They have booked over 200 artisans, community organizations and vendors. The fair will have two performance stages and one dance area. Call 415/861-3247 or visit www.folsomstfair.com.
AN INTERESTING, IF EMBARASSING TALE - Embarrassing tale. A few days ago I was preparing for a wax scene. One of my standard things is to test the candle on myself first. Any candle. Always. Since this was a white candle, and I *thought* I had purchased it at my girlfriend's shop, I wasn't expecting much. Routine. I thought "isn't that a pretty shiny white candle". Did anything register on my brain? NOOOOO.
Splashed a little wax onto my forearm...and just about went through the ROOF!!! Talk about a BURN! Burnt through layers of skin, splattered into four burns on my forearm. Bright red/white burn even after an hour of ice.
My girlfriend tells me that some candle companies dip candles in acrylic floor wax to make them look more shiny. In all my years, I have NEVER experienced this. I know what to look for, I'm not wax ignorant. I normally GIVE the lectures on what sorts of wax to look for. On this particular tidbit I obviously was totally clueless!!! I've been using hot wax for over 10 years, and this is the first time I've bumped into it, or heard about it. Have I been blissfully ignorant and lucky??? Let me tell you, acrylic floor wax burns QUITE the hole into your skin. I'll be including that warning in all my hot wax demos and discussions from now on!
My only happy thought through this experience is...I was responsible. I would have felt a million percent worse if I had assumed since the candle was white and not beeswax that it was safe. I would have been so horrified and distressed if I had done this to a sub out of my laziness. So I have the ugly burn...but my sub does not. If I hurt someone, I want to hurt them so good, not injure them. <smile>
Reprinted with permission from the Silver Collar Society.
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN - "Violence Against S/M Women Within the Lesbian Community" is a nationwide survey sponsored by Female Trouble, Philadelphia. This survey, published in March 1994, concerned violence committed by women in the lesbian community against S/M Women. Because of their S/M orientation, 56% of the 539 women surveyed have been the victim of acts of violence including harassment, discrimination and/or assault. One quarter of the S/M women surveyed were physically assaulted by members of the lesbian community. Discrimination within the lesbian community affects 30% of the women surveyed because of their S/M orientation, including being ejected or refused admittance from a public accommodation, denied housing, and/or refused membership in a social, recreational, political, educational or spiritual lesbian group. The survey states: "Condoning and/or ignoring incidents of violence against S/M women makes you a party to that violence. Regardless of personal feelings and opinions about consensual S/M, no one has the right to harass, discriminate against or physically assault S/M women. As lesbian, bisexual and queer women living in a society that has condemned us en masse as perverse, immoral, criminal and insane, surely, we understand the terrifying consequences of institutionalized bigotry. As lesbian, bisexual and queer women, surely, we will not succumb to self-inflicted persecution."
Reprinted from the NOWSM Project, http://members.aol.com/NOWSM/Home.html
PARTY ETIQUETTE - BDSM play parties are almost always governed by the credo "safe, sane, and consensual" and the host or hostess of any party go out of their way to ensure that everyone invited and attending understands and adheres to it.
When attending a play party, it is paramount to remember that just because a particular activity is not YOUR kink doesn't mean it is unacceptable or unwelcome. If a blade scene is enacted and you're adamant about blood-letting being verboten, make it a point to be in another location.
The Dungeon Master (DM) has the authority and obligation to oversee all scenes at a party. There may be several DMs at any given party so that supervision can be constant. DMs can and will stop a scene that appears to be out of control or involves non-consensual aspects. If you disagree with the actions of the DM, take your dispute to the party host or hostess. They are the final authority.
Do not stand about watching a scene and deliver a commentary. Scening is a special time for Dominant and submissive and deserves the respect of those who watch it. If you see an activity that squicks you, move off to another area. Do NOT make remarks that could be overheard by either participant.
The same goes for socializing while watching a scene in progress. It is very distracting to try and focus on your partner when the people around the scene are discussing other subjects. Keep your spoken words soft and your laughter and gaiety to a minimum.
And, please, never touch, handle, or "test out" another's toys without their consent. Just because Robert has an interesting looking flogger that doesn't mean that you may pick it up and inspect it, much less use it. Safe scene practices involves the cleaning of toys and implements. Your "inspection" of the items instantly undoes their cleanliness. Ask before you touch. If a scene is in progress, wait until it is over with before you ask.
NYC CARPENTER MAKES 'ERGONOMIC EROTICA' - By Ellen Wulfhorst, NEW YORK (Reuter -- 08/19/97) -- No room for a sexual bondage rack in your city apartment? Need to hide the spanking horse when your mother comes to visit? Hope to surprise your girlfriend with a "bend-over" chair? Joe Hurley can meet those needs and more with the erotic furniture he designs and builds in his New York City studio especially for small spaces. He sells the "Kinky Joe" furniture via a mail-order catalog with the words "HAVE MORE SEX" emblazoned on front. The furniture can fit in even the most cramped city apartment, the carpenter says. And for his customers discretion is the better part of value. The leaves and legs of the bondage table are removable, the suspended leather "love swing" is easily taken down from its ceiling hooks and the plastic bondage "sweat sheet" with steel rings that guarantee no escape is completely portable, his catalog says. "You can put it in a closet or a small apartment or move it around," Hurley volunteered from the workshop of his cavernous studio in the city's Brooklyn borough. His catalog also offers a seemingly innocent wooden bed headboard that opens to reveal stocks with four holes to hold wrists or ankles and a cushioned spanking horse for leaning over that folds up for easy storage.
WHAT TO DO WHEN MOM VISITS - "People's initial reaction is that they can't have it in their house because their mother comes over. I say, 'You can put it away or hide it. Don't worry about it,'" Hurley said. "The other thing they mention is to send the catalog in a plain envelope," he added. His hottest-selling item is the bend-over chair, a two-tiered vinyl-covered contraption that is built for two and sells for $450. The more elaborate pair of multi-level oral sex chairs costs $750, while for the budget-conscious the spanking horse sells for a mere $250, Hurley said. Hurley will make items to order as well, although not all ideas prove to be good ones. "One guy wanted a set of railroad tracks to tie up his damsel in distress," he recalled, so he designed eight-foot lengths of track that could be carried in two large bags. But the price hit $2,000 and the customer opted to take his business elsewhere.
FROM KITCHEN CABINETS TO KINKY ERGONOMICS - Hurley, 30, got his start building cabinets and counters but moved to the kinkier world of "ergonomic erotica" about two years ago. Looking at the market for devices for the sado-masochist market, he decided people with less exotic sexual habits might like their own special furniture as well. "The idea is to have a comfortable position and you never get tired," he explained. He does not advertise but does business through word-of-mouth, a toll-free telephone number -- 1-800-70-kinky -- and a Web site [http://www.brainlink.com/~kinkyjoe/ORDER.HTML]. His customers are everyday people, said Hurley, who sports a wispy beard and a ponytail. "The people are pretty normal looking," he said. "In fact, the more kinky they are the more proper they appear to be. They go out of their way to be more respectable." Hurley's studio, on the top floor of an aging building once used as a financial exchange, is filled with his products, not all of which can be described in print without an X-rating. He has turned one room into an S&M dungeon, complete with handcuffs, skulls, whips and chains on its black walls, and will build dungeons to order for customers. And what happens when his mother comes to visit? "For a while, she didn't really bring it up," he said of his chosen profession. "Now she does. I'm making a living, so that's a success to her."
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